I decided to come home to Australia back in November as my heart was yearning for some overdue family time. Only intending to be home until after Christmas, as you can imagine that endearing pull towards elsewhere was overpowering my ability to for lack of better word – adult. Sometimes (especially when you’ve been abroad for so long) packing your bags rather than putting your big girl pants on seems all too tempting. Let’s just say the former is my biggest weakness. However, upon sobering from that lustful state, I knew it was time to stay put for a while, get serious about my career and be closer to family and friends.
While that doesn’t sound too bad, my mind was freaking out. I hadn’t rented a place in over two years, and I hadn’t stayed put in one place for more than 3 months in even longer. I could feel that daily humdrum rushing towards me all too quickly and I can honestly say I was about a millisecond away from tapping into Skyscanner, booking a ticket and starting a new life somewhere in Asia – because why not?
While I love the buzz of change and new beginnings; taking a full 360 on something that makes up such a big part of your life can feel as if it’s all falling apart. Plus, to be 100% raw with you, I’ve always told myself that to heal you have to leave the place that hurt you.
That feeling of content came to me at ease while abroad, you would find me with my pack on, coffee in one hand and offline map in the other – en route to my next temporary home. Every misled thought, every spike of boredom was ever so fleeting how could I return to somewhere that induced the polar opposite?
I realise the difference between my place in a new city, and my place at home was merely a matter of perspective. I’ve learnt to peer past my peripheral vision that housed the notion I couldn’t be content here. I’ve banished the mindset that dictated exploring was reserved for places far from home. By seeing home in a new light and recognising all it had to offer, rather than the perception that staying here meant it would inevitably be exactly what it before I left.
The past few months have thus found me going about the Coast choosing to take on my days the same way I do when I’m not in Australia.
But instead of travelling to beaches in Italy, I’ve travelled to the beaches that brought back fond childhood memories.
Instead of chasing the best coffee in Germany, my lips have met with the best specialty coffee in Australia’s thriving coffee scene.
Instead of taking myself out try the flavours of each city abroad, I’ve been eating my way through Brisbane and the Gold Coast’s unique café culture.
I shamelessly sit in cafes lost in a book for five hours at a time, just like I did in Turkey, and I still lay on the beach until new freckles make their way to my nose, just like I did in Spain.
I can’t say this little slice of security in the form of a place to call home, and a desk to call mine isn’t warming – I think I’ll hold onto it a little while!
One page in my journal reads “When things seem to be falling apart, your life may be falling perfectly into place.” It’s one of those quotes you think ‘yeahhhh whatever’ when reading, but I ought to give credit to whomever came up with it. Because this happy little vegemite is prepared to deem it pretty accurate.
Instead of getting yourself stuck in a rut, choose to see life through welcoming eyes rather than those that restrict your outlook on life. Because that perspective is the only difference between you leading a phenomenal life and a monotonous one.
Take yourself out for a nice dinner, travel that extra half hour to a new beach, wander aimlessly through your home city, challenge yourself both physically and mentally, let your hair down, make love, eat that whole block of chocolate, make new friends, pick up a new book, lose yourself in it, think less of Monday morning and more of Sunday evening. Like fine wine, with age you’ll appreciate these moments more and more – relish it.
– Haylee x
P.S. The only thing I feel I’ve lost to travel is my ability to just write. Isn’t it funny how I’ve not written anything on here since just after I got home months ago. The minute I get in the car to road trip to Sydney these words poured out like there is no tomorrow.
Haylee's Words of Wander 