At the end of last year, I had what you could call… a bit of a moment. The best way to explain it? I would be smooth sailing on my own two feet, when clouds of nemesis would come rolling in; thrashing the boat and releasing the grip of hope from my hands. When the weather would clear, the next storm wasn’t far in the distance.
It seemed as though every time I picked myself back up I got knocked back down. I’m not sure whether I was caught up on the past or if life really was being a bitch. Nevertheless, I may or may not have learnt a lesson from the situation at that point in time – it usually takes multiple versions of the same mistake before I actually learn my lesson. Though, I definitely learnt a lesson about learning lessons! You with me?
Each and every situation we meet within life is an experience that we can either choose to learn from, or pretend it never happened (which usually ends in a repeat of the previous blunder). Whether we have succumbed to a mess we did not choose to be captured by or we have been stabbed in the back by one of those glorious twenty something decisions we were advised to steer clear of. We have a choice, disregard that it ever happened – letting it eat away at your ambitions, or take it on board – in an oath to infect those around you with said experience.
It goes without saying, that many things are easier said than done. Telling yourself you ‘can’t go back, so you may as well soldier on,’ being one of them. It is the source of where you find your worth that the real resolution may lay. Perhaps that is the pleasure that received attention gives you, the ability you have to please those that surround you, or the success of your motives. As well as recognising what it is that diminishes the perception of your worth.
During that time, I became curious with the stem of my current state. It was then that I decided it was time to stop allowing the past to dictate what my future comprised, though still honouring how this version of me came to be. You take the bad with the good – bad endings may be good beginnings.
Many aspects of our lives are a reflection of the choices that we make. If we want a better result, we must make better choices. For me it was how I chose to recognise my worth, by removing the mindset that I am what my past was, rather than being a result of it.
A wise word from one of my taxi drivers in Bali, “Your bad days are your lessons, your good days are your happiness.”
– Haylee x